It wouldn’t be easy to be called Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing, but I think it could be done. I would have to go back, way back, maybe even before I was me. »
Latest Story
The Sister by Ken Poyner
I once had a sister who was so large that, had we painted windows and doors, eaves and gutters on her, she would have seemed a house. »
Ode to my Guitar by William Wright Harris
Orgasms should be this pure. »
Banana Bread by Barclay Shields
A white man who is very fond of banana bread walks into a cafe that just had a grand opening in what is or used to be a “bad neighborhood.” »
This is All Your Fault, Sigourney Weaver by Jessica Berger
Watch The Ice Storm and call your mother and quietly tell her you know what was happening with the Lawrences, that you know all about their little parties, and... »
They Laughed When They Said It Would Happen to Aunt Linda by Miriam Smith Camp
Your shoe feels a little heavy so you look down and realize you have some of that puke on your sneakers, so you drag it across the carpet, which... »
Stonewall Jackson’s Great-Great-Great-Grandson by Mike Rosenthal
There’s no way we won’t win. »
THE CASE OF THE INCINERATED SPINSTER
by strannikov
Inspector Blandtkrill was called in on the off-chance the old crone had succumbed to the wick effect. »
The Pesky Weight of Certain Words by J. Spinazzola
No one knew how the fault line had opened. The where and when were known: a young boy carried off by a pack of vermin after saying, in a... »
Two Poems by Guillaume Morissette
I read in a book that anxiety was the median between desire and jouissance. / I will tell you what I did with that knowledge. / I revisited the... »
Congratulations to Christopher Allen
Winner of the 2011 Preditors & Editors Reader's Poll for best zine editor! »
STRIPPED BY ????
A new collection of fiction including a number of Metazen alumni and other talented writers... but who wrote which pieces? »
From Riverpoint, Behavioral Health Facility by Joseph Goosey
Staff will assist Joseph in finding positive and hopeful things in his life at the present time twice during group therapy. Joseph will identify positive aspects, relationships, and achievements...... »
I Hoped it Meant What I Hoped by Alex Thornber
I knew it was a stupid idea, trying to wake Mum up before lunch, even today. The phone was ringing downstairs so I ran and took it off the base... »
Tapioca Pudding by L.R. Dalby
Benjamin had made a single entry the night before. “Dear Diary,” He wrote, “I jacked off to Ms. Pullman’s sweaty fat rolls tonight.” »
Two Poems by Felino A. Soriano
darkened swell her alabaster tone of smiling volition... »
Memo for the Eyes of the Congressman’s Staff Only by Faith Gardner
f you are the Congressman’s staff, however, please enjoy this memo prepared by Franny O, the Congressman’s communications director, and the accompanying pineapple upside- down cake (also prepared by Franny). If you... »
Cover by Bryce Doersam
Between the pot, which is really strong, and the slow repetitive music that I guess Logan thought would be sexy, I almost fall asleep, until he wakes me up... »
Rise by Brian Ross
My daughter’s last words fall on a Monday afternoon in March, as the sun behind the vertical blinds sinks toward the tree line. My daughter murmurs something unintelligible and... »
Miso Soup by Brian McElmurry
His girlfriend yelled, “I fucking hate you.” »
